Saturday, April 11, 2015

And On The 9th Day...

In 9 days I will lay it all on the line.  I will pour my heart over the Boston Marathon course for the third time.  This time I am here for me.  Me...and me alone.  This year I will be racing it for a win for me.  No, I'm not the fastest runner out there.  No, I'm not going for a BQ, (although that would be the cherry on top). But I am I'm running this year to take back the joy of running and racing that was stolen from me on that fateful day in 2013.  (You can read about my 2013 experience here and here)  Last years race was all about just crossing the lucid finish line on Boylston Street.  Do I have a time goal for this year, Heck Yeah I do!  Do I think I'll meet or exceed it? I plan on it!

I have spent 15 weeks pouring over my plan and I have stuck to it like glue.  Snow, sleet, rain, it didn't matter, I am like the mailman, and I got it done.  My instagram feed proves I will not  be defeated by Mother Nature.  My treadmill and I had become serious BFF's for a few weeks.  But it's these last 2 weeks of training called "The Taper" that are killing me.  During this taper phase of training your mind has way too much time to think and that's when fear and doubt creep in.

"Taper: the practice of reducing exercise in the days just before an important competition. Tapering is customary in many endurance sports, such as the long-distance running and swimming. For many athletes, a significant period of tapering is essential for optimal performance."

My hormones are all over the board from the lack of endorphins and nervous energy.  I feel anxious, irritable, even weepy at times.  I just want to go out and run...I want to show myself I can do this.  But it's a proven fact, you need to rest and recover and be slightly under trained to preform your best.

Yesterday my emotions got the best of me.  Tons of self doubt crept into my mind and I couldn't shake it.  I needed to get good thoughts in my head and stomp out the negative ones.  I love running quotes and if you search google there is no shortage of things to read, but nothing seemed to resonate with me.  Sitting at my desk I decided I needed something more personal so I created a vision board.  It wasn't anything fancy or even planned.  I just grabbed a piece of card stock and magazines out of the recycle bin and began cutting words and sentences that felt meaningful.  I haven't done something like this since high school and at first I felt silly.  I mean, here I am a 44 year-old mom of 3 and I'm cutting words out of a magazine. Seriously who has time for this?  But for me it was a reminder of not only how far I've come over the past 15 weeks, but what I have overcome since 2013.  A symbol of what is in store for race day and beyond.  I have to admit it was pretty cathartic and will now serve as a visual reminder of who I am, what I've accomplished and best yet, where I'm headed....
Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston! Boston here I come!

If you had a vision board what words would you choose?  How do you calm fear and anxiety before an important event?