And On The 9th Day...

In 9 days I will lay it all on the line.  I will pour my heart over the Boston Marathon course for the third time.  This time I am here for me.  Me...and me alone.  This year I will be racing it for a win for me.  No, I'm not the fastest runner out there.  No, I'm not going for a BQ, (although that would be the cherry on top). But I am I'm running this year to take back the joy of running and racing that was stolen from me on that fateful day in 2013.  (You can read about my 2013 experience here and here)  Last years race was all about just crossing the lucid finish line on Boylston Street.  Do I have a time goal for this year, Heck Yeah I do!  Do I think I'll meet or exceed it? I plan on it!

I have spent 15 weeks pouring over my plan and I have stuck to it like glue.  Snow, sleet, rain, it didn't matter, I am like the mailman, and I got it done.  My instagram feed proves I will not  be defeated by Mother Nature.  My treadmill and I had become serious BFF's for a few weeks.  But it's these last 2 weeks of training called "The Taper" that are killing me.  During this taper phase of training your mind has way too much time to think and that's when fear and doubt creep in.

"Taper: the practice of reducing exercise in the days just before an important competition. Tapering is customary in many endurance sports, such as the long-distance running and swimming. For many athletes, a significant period of tapering is essential for optimal performance."

My hormones are all over the board from the lack of endorphins and nervous energy.  I feel anxious, irritable, even weepy at times.  I just want to go out and run...I want to show myself I can do this.  But it's a proven fact, you need to rest and recover and be slightly under trained to preform your best.

Yesterday my emotions got the best of me.  Tons of self doubt crept into my mind and I couldn't shake it.  I needed to get good thoughts in my head and stomp out the negative ones.  I love running quotes and if you search google there is no shortage of things to read, but nothing seemed to resonate with me.  Sitting at my desk I decided I needed something more personal so I created a vision board.  It wasn't anything fancy or even planned.  I just grabbed a piece of card stock and magazines out of the recycle bin and began cutting words and sentences that felt meaningful.  I haven't done something like this since high school and at first I felt silly.  I mean, here I am a 44 year-old mom of 3 and I'm cutting words out of a magazine. Seriously who has time for this?  But for me it was a reminder of not only how far I've come over the past 15 weeks, but what I have overcome since 2013.  A symbol of what is in store for race day and beyond.  I have to admit it was pretty cathartic and will now serve as a visual reminder of who I am, what I've accomplished and best yet, where I'm headed....

Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston! Boston here I come!

If you had a vision board what words would you choose?  How do you calm fear and anxiety before an important event?

Boston Marathon 2014 Race Day Recap!

Well I did it! I did cross the infamous finish line that has eluded me since April 15, 2013!  

But....It wasn't my day to PR.  I knew early on that I wasn't going to be able to "race" this event.  First off my wave was slated to leave Hopkinton at 11:25am, but there were 9 corrals per wave, I was in corral 7 with my friends in other waves & corrals.  I tried to get into my friends corral #4 that was within my wave but they were going 100% by the book and I got turned away when I went to enter the corral.  With that said I didn't even start my race until almost noon time, full sun shining down.  We were boxed in like sardines at the start.  Last year it seemed to thin out by mile 4, but not this year.  At mile 6 when I saw my hubby in Framingham we were still packed shoulder to shoulder.  He even commented to me after the race that he didn't know how I could run with people that close all around.

It was a beautiful sunny spring day 72 degrees with no breeze and blue skies.  As a spectator it was lovely.  But as a runner who trained in the 20 degree weather I melted like a candle.  I threw water over my head, ice down my shirt.  I drank so much water that I actually stopped to pee 3 times!  I never stop to pee during a race.  I knew by the 15K mark I was just going to enjoy the day.  The crowds were crazy.  The signs were funny!  Little kids with their hands out to be slapped.  I made sure I took it all in.  My favorite sign was "HEY YOU RANDOM PERSON GO!"  All the towns were fantastic but my favorites were Wellesley and Newton.  People lined the streets screaming.  I had my name on my arm so people would scream your name.  If you raised your arms like I'm doing in the photo below the crowds would go wild!  It was the crowd that carried me to the finish, it wasn't just my race, it was their race too and I felt that connection.  

It was after I crossed the 25 mile mark I became hypersensitive to everything around me.  I took out my headphones so I could concentrate on this moment, on this 1.2 miles that was stolen from me last year.  That last mile last year was such a blur.  I knew by my garmin watch said that I was stopped at mile 25.9 but I could not really remember that actual spot.  I continued down the last 1.2 miles, I kept looking at all that was around me and saying...Nope I made it to here, no here, no here...When I got to the area where I knew I had been stopped I realized I was literally a few 100 feet from turning right onto Hereford street.  

For those of you who don't know the Boston Marathon coarse, Hereford street is a small 1/2 block street you turn right onto and then you turn left onto Boyleston to the Finish.  It was the most surreal moment of my life.  I knew I had been struggling with the events of last year.  It has affected me more than I have wanted to admit or talk about.  My motivation and love of running was squashed.  The safety and serene calmness of running was replaced by angst.  As I looked ahead and saw Boyleston street I felt this emotional release and an odd calmness came over me.  My eyes welled up, I got goosebumps down my arms and legs.  I remember a heaviness in my chest I almost started to cry and I thought, "I'm really going to make it this time".  

It was a tough race.  Emotionally and with the weather conditions.  The Boston marathon is a challenging course filled with hills and the hot weather made it even more difficult. Medic tents were filled with people with heat exhaustion and dehydration.  To say I wasn't disappointed by my time is an understatement. Last year I was slated for a 4:15, and I wanted that moment back.  But this was a different day, a different race and this year I did a 4:57.  Actually my worst marathon finish to date.  But this day wasn't about my time, it was about me taking back my run, my finish line, my Boston!

 

XoXo to all my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter followers and blog readers~

 Thank you for following my journey, providing words of encouragement, and support.  Next on my list another Marathon in October where I will try to Qualify for Boston and a 50 mile Ultra in November!