Throw Back Thursday! Napa Valley Marathon 11'

I've never actually participated in a TBT.  I see people post stuff on Facebook or Instagram, but honestly I just never saw the appeal.  I have been tagged in a few TBT photos and lets just say those are usually photos I'd like to forget!  But I thought I would share with you an exciting thing that happened after my first marathon finish in March of 2011.  I was contacted by Sarah Bowen Shea, the author of :Run Like A Mother and they wanted to feature me on their blog.  I was totally elated and of coarse said yes!  They sent me a series of questions to answer  and just a few weeks later I was featured!!  It made my first marathon experience that much more exciting!  Here's the link to the original blog post interview....

Follow this Mother...

FOLLOW THIS MOTHER!

March 17, 2011

By SBS

We want her arms: Deana Boucher running her first 26.2, earlier this month

Deana Boucher, a mom of three in Woodbury, Connecticut, would agree with my mother, who often says, "No matter how many pairs of shoes you have, you never have the right pair." Deana owns up to her shoe obsession, but since taking up running  two years ago and running the Napa Valley Marathon this month, the pair that matter most to her are her running kicks. See what this newbie blogger has to say.

Best recent run: Although my marathon finish is on a whole other level of accomplishment, I think my best most recent run was when I completed my first 24-miler in training. It was the day before my 40th birthday, and the weather was windy with snow showers. I was terrified to go alone. I never in my life thought I could run that far. Finishing was one of the most empowering moments. I now feel anything is possible.  

I run because: Three years ago I had been told by a trainer that I would never be a runner because of a poor stride; he said I’d risk injury.

Deana ("Dean-a") in her first race, the NJ Half

 Instead, I signed up for my first half marathon, asking a new trainer for help with my stride. We worked on form, and I completed my first half five months later! Running now is a daily part of my mommy-sanity. Don’t ever let anyone tell you, you cannot do something!

No dampened enthusiasm: Marathon morning, it was raining when I got up. Ugh: I’m not one of those people that trains for “any weather condition”; instead, I cross my fingers and pray for good weather. It was a steady downpour through mile 12 and showers to the finish. Whenever I felt disappointment creeping in, I repeated my favorite motto: “You take what the race day gives you.”

Only one pair: I am a self-proclaimed shoe addict. I have more than 50 pairs of heels and 8 different running sneakers. I love shoes because they instantly change my mood: I might feel sexy in sling-backs, sassy in peep-toes, carefree in ballet flats. But if I could only have one pair, I’d have to pick my running sneakers.  Although pretty, flirty shoes make me happy, running makes me feel strong, sane, and sexy. I’ll take any shoe that can deliver those results!

Now what? I have two half marathons planned for this spring, and I'm awaiting the lottery decision for New York City Marathon in the fall. If NYC is not in my future, I may do the Hartford or Philadelphia marathon in the fall. A Boston qualifier marathon result is definitely in my sights: I plan on being a lifetime running mom.

Can’t run without: My iPod with cool, “not kid friendly” tunes is my guilty pleasure. I’m addicted to my Garmin—I’m a pace freak. Lululemon running gloves and a hand-held water bottle with Propel water. The gloves are the perfect fabric weight for chilly mornings and have a key holder. I am not a huge water fan so Propel makes drinking it more palatable. High maintenance, maybe…loves running, yes!

Follow this mother at: www.momswithsole.blogspot.com

Deana and the fam in FLA on vaca 

So there you have it my first official TBT!  Happy Thursday Running Peeps!

Laying A New Foundation

Have you ever worked so hard for something only to have it slip away?  It doesn't take long for weeks and months of hard work to be crushed.  It's not easy to put your heart and soul into a goal only to have it desintigrate faster than a blink of an eye.  I thought about this a lot on Monday as I mentally prepare myself for another marathon training cycle.

My run on Monday took me alone some of the most beautiful and the most devastated beaches on the NJ shore. A small town called Mantoloking found itself front and center in the path of hurricane Sandy in 2012. Three years later glorious beach front homes....(multi-million dollar homes) have been condemned or worse reduced to mear rubble.  Dreams of the good life washed away in an instant. No warning really, just gone. The only thing left is to walk away and forget the dream or lay a new foundation and start anew.

Isn't that what our training seasons are like? Always building up....sometimes we reach that goal but sometimes we don't.  My favorite mantra of racing is "you take what the race day gives you".  Sometimes that can be pure joy of reaching your goal or sheer and utter disgust that all that hard work and energy didn't amount to what you intended.  But with every PR comes a moment of disappointment.

The crushing realization that your goal is unattainable at this time.  What do you do in that moment?  Do you walk away and forget the dream ever existed? Or do you rebuild? Take stock in what you have learned and relay the foundation?

I was faced with that question last fall. I was struggling to make mental peace with the events of my Boston 2013 experience. After a crushing failure in 2014 I was trying anything I could to reclaim some type of victory. But if I'm honest with myself I didn't lay my foundation properly and I failed. Taking stock in the events of last year, I didn't train for Boston 2014 properly.  Mentally my head wasn't in the game.  I got my long runs in, but that was about it. I ran a ragnar race 2 weeks after Boston & started training for a 50 mile ultra in July.  My body hurt, IT band, hips.  It wasn't fun.  In Sept I ran 20 miles of a 50 mile trail relay in prep for my 50 miler.  I fell around mile 15 and fractured my ankle.  That fracture mentally destroyed me.  I felt as though I was a pile of rubble cast aside.  I felt maybe my time was up.  I'm 43 and no spring chicken.  Was I too old and too weak?  Heck I'm not really an athlete, maybe I'm not even a "runner". 

But after the dust settled and I had time to reflect and be truly honest with myself I realized I didn't lay a proper foundation. First off I didn't allow my body any recovery.  I was so hell bent on being victorious at anything that I ignored signs of fatigue my body was giving me.  I realized wasn't training to my full potential.  I had cut corners, missed runs, didn't strength train.  Given those factors how could I expect to PR or trail run successfully when I didn't train properly.  The answer was, I couldn't. 

My ankle fracture was a total wakeup call.  It allowed me time to totally allow my body to recover.  It gave me space to think about what I really wanted.  In October a friend asked me if I was running Boston, I said no.  But then I thought why am I not running?  Don't I deserve one more chance to reclaim my race that was taken in 2013?  I knew right there and then I wanted to run, I needed to run. I immediately called the Charlestown Boys & Girls Club to see if they had any charity numbers available.  I had run for them in 2013 so I thought I'd try them first.  They had one number left and it was mine if I wanted it!  I didn't even have to think about it.  I received the paperwork & faxed it back within 30 minutes and just like that the dream was renewed.

In order to succeed I needed to rebuild myself. I knew I needed to fully commit to my training. No half fast workouts.  No skipping runs because of the weather or other plans.  I was either all in or all out.  Just like the people rebuilding here on the NJ shore.  You can't rebuild half-fast...you either wipe the slate clean and rebuild with a new foundation or you walk away.  I had my best training season for the 2015 Boston Marathon.  I used the Hanson Training Method and came upon race day uninjured feeling mentally and  physically stronger than I had in years!  I beat my 2013 projected time, which was my ultimate goal.  But if I'm honest I was also disappointed.  I knew in my heart I could have done even better.  All of my training runs had predicted a finish 12 minutes better but circumstances on race day and fueling issues didn't allow for that.  So when I crossed that finish line and the medal hung around my neck I let the reality of my Boston 2015 experience sink in.  I celebrated my victory with family and friends and reflected on what I needed to do differently and what I had learned.   I didn't immediately sign up for another race, which is usually my M.O. right after a race.  However this time I allowed myself time to think and reflect.  I didn't even write a Boston race re-cap yet because I wanted to fully understand my emotions.  Boston 2013 kicked my butt mentally for 2 years and I needed to process it.

It wasn't until June that I decided I would try another marathon in October.  I had been trying to decide if I try my hand at another 50 miler or if I try another marathon.  The reality is I really want to see if I can reach that secondary goal.  I love road running and I feel I'm on a good path to take myself to the next level.  It's not going to be easy, I find summer training grueling.  The Hanson Training Method is intense and the weekly mileage is high.  But it got me to my goal in April and I am hoping that this foundation will take me to my goal in October.  Relaying a new foundation is never easy.  Putting your faith in a new training plan, (a contractor) so to speak takes guts.  But if your boards are rotted, if the nails are rusted shouldn't you replace them with new?

Have you ever had to take a step back and re-lay a new foundation?  What is holding you back from starting new?

And On The 9th Day...

In 9 days I will lay it all on the line.  I will pour my heart over the Boston Marathon course for the third time.  This time I am here for me.  Me...and me alone.  This year I will be racing it for a win for me.  No, I'm not the fastest runner out there.  No, I'm not going for a BQ, (although that would be the cherry on top). But I am I'm running this year to take back the joy of running and racing that was stolen from me on that fateful day in 2013.  (You can read about my 2013 experience here and here)  Last years race was all about just crossing the lucid finish line on Boylston Street.  Do I have a time goal for this year, Heck Yeah I do!  Do I think I'll meet or exceed it? I plan on it!

I have spent 15 weeks pouring over my plan and I have stuck to it like glue.  Snow, sleet, rain, it didn't matter, I am like the mailman, and I got it done.  My instagram feed proves I will not  be defeated by Mother Nature.  My treadmill and I had become serious BFF's for a few weeks.  But it's these last 2 weeks of training called "The Taper" that are killing me.  During this taper phase of training your mind has way too much time to think and that's when fear and doubt creep in.

"Taper: the practice of reducing exercise in the days just before an important competition. Tapering is customary in many endurance sports, such as the long-distance running and swimming. For many athletes, a significant period of tapering is essential for optimal performance."

My hormones are all over the board from the lack of endorphins and nervous energy.  I feel anxious, irritable, even weepy at times.  I just want to go out and run...I want to show myself I can do this.  But it's a proven fact, you need to rest and recover and be slightly under trained to preform your best.

Yesterday my emotions got the best of me.  Tons of self doubt crept into my mind and I couldn't shake it.  I needed to get good thoughts in my head and stomp out the negative ones.  I love running quotes and if you search google there is no shortage of things to read, but nothing seemed to resonate with me.  Sitting at my desk I decided I needed something more personal so I created a vision board.  It wasn't anything fancy or even planned.  I just grabbed a piece of card stock and magazines out of the recycle bin and began cutting words and sentences that felt meaningful.  I haven't done something like this since high school and at first I felt silly.  I mean, here I am a 44 year-old mom of 3 and I'm cutting words out of a magazine. Seriously who has time for this?  But for me it was a reminder of not only how far I've come over the past 15 weeks, but what I have overcome since 2013.  A symbol of what is in store for race day and beyond.  I have to admit it was pretty cathartic and will now serve as a visual reminder of who I am, what I've accomplished and best yet, where I'm headed....

Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston! Boston here I come!

If you had a vision board what words would you choose?  How do you calm fear and anxiety before an important event?

Has it been that long?

So sad I don't post more often...I swear I come up with the most excellent posts at the weirdest times of the day.  Most of my inspiration comes when I'm running.  I think of a topic and write it out in my head but somehow it never makes here to my tiny space on the Internet.  I'm going to try to get better at that.  But lots to share here.  First my lovely fractured ankled is all healed.  Whoo hoo.  It took a long time.  But I can actually say it was a blessing. I didn't feel that way when I was in the midst of it. But I had the pleasure of having a friend visit recently.  She's one of those friends who knows my heart inside and out.  She asked me with caring eye's how I was doing, how I was feeling about my running.  She truly wanted to know.

You know what I mean...there are people who will ask "How are you? How's training?" and they  really don't care or at least don't want intimate details, which lets be honest we as runners LOVE to share!  I told her how last year was so difficult for me mentally.  Having run Boston and having my worst marathon time finish. Then running the Ragnar Cape Cod 2 weeks later, feeling sluggish and having it reek havoc on my body.  Into trying to train for a 50 mile ultra where from the start my body was revolting.  Hip pain, IT Band issues and then just feeling mentally beaten down.  Lastly too running my first trail race in VT with my running coach who is an experienced Ultra Runner and falling, fracturing my ankle.  The year just sucked.  Sucked with a capital S!

But I perked up and said I feel great this time around, stronger than I have in years.  I can't figure out why....She looked at me and said with the utmost compassion.  You really don't see it?  Your body was begging for a rest.  I mean look at what you put yourself through. You needed it both physically and mentally.  It's not surprising to me at all....Not surprising to her at all? Wow! That comment kinda knocked me on my butt.

It was that light bulb moment and I thought "Hell yea, I needed it!"

Since being given the green light to run in December I started slow.  As much as my mind wanted to dive into longer runs I knew I could not risk it.  I built up my mileage. I listened to my body...what a concept.  I have been faithful with stretching and rolling my legs after running.  I have been doing strength training and incorporating spinning back into my mix.  My body has responded in kind and I feel stronger than I have in over 2 years.

find me on instagram: solemomma

I will be taking my third and final attempt at Boston this year.  In 2013 I was running my best marathon ever before the bombings....2014 saw my worst....2015 is my year to own it, crush it for me and feel like what I've put in is what I got out!

Have you ever suffered an injury only to come back physically and mentally stronger?

Protein Packed Breakfast!

I'm not much of a breakfast person, unless your talking breakfast out....then I could eat my way to china! But as a dietitian I know it is important to fuel your body properly for the day ahead. One thing that makes breakfast a "hassle" is the prep. My mornings are already filled with 3 kids, making their breakfasts, checking backpacks and shuttling them off to school. If I'm really on the ball I shoot right from kid drop off to my gym for a workout. But as the craziness of life happens I can get lazy when it comes to breakfast grabbing a protein bar on the run. But today I'm here to give you my most favorite & trusted make ahead breakfast idea!

First gather your supplies.  Once you have all these staples you can make this for many weeks! Try adding pumpkin spice instead of cinnamon for a more "fall-ish" flavor.

Sole Momma Power Museli
Ingredients:
1 cup old fashioned oats (NOT quick cooking) 
1/4 c dried millet
1/4 c dried quinoa- preferably red or tri-colored
1/3 c Manitoba Hemp Seeds
1/4 c raw almond slices
1/4 c dried fruit (cranberries, cherries, raisins)
1 tbs of each chia seeds, flax seed, wheat germ
1 tbs pure maple sugar
2-3 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 cups unsweetened almond milk

Dry ingredients before you add your almond milk.

Stir all ingredients together in a large bowl. (if you have kids at home like me they can help you measure out the ingredients.  Good news is that measurements don't have to be 100% accurate. (a little more millet won't hurt anyone) :) Using a 1/2c scoop, portion into glass containers or mason jars and cover. Place in refrigerator over night or up to 5 days. The almond milk will absorb into all the wonderful oats & seeds. Open & enjoy!

These awesome glass jars are from William Sonoma we use them for drinking & food storage.

Pull it out in the morning-add fresh berries & enjoy!

I love to eat it cold with fruit or berries on top! The quinoa & hemp seeds help to provide complete proteins which is a great way to start your day!

If you haven't tried Manitoba Harvest Hemp Seeds your missing out on some nutty tasting protein goodness. As a dietitian I love it on yogurt, hot cereals and even a salad.
Hemp is lower in carbs than flax & chia seeds and provides a vegan non-GMO complete protein. Getting enough protein can be tough but with the help of these yummy hearts you can get 10gms of protein & 10 grams of omega three for 3-yes - 3 tablespoons!!!  The recipe above provides 17.8 grams of protein per recipe from Hemp Seeds!

So there you have it! Literally you can make all your breakfasts for the week! BaBam!
How do you prepare to tackle your weeks? Do you pre-make meals or prep in advance?
Would you like to try Manitoba Hemp Seeds use promo code HHSweatPink14 at their web store to get 20% off your order.  Their site has a ton of recipes and lots of vegan protein options! Check it out!

The Day I Didn't Run...

We all have those days...the one where according to your runningbible training plan you should be running but you don't.  It can mess with your mental focus.  But like I've mentioned in previous posts you have to be willing to bend and meet the training plan.  However even the best of people can have life get in the way.  For me training for this ultra marathon started in July.  I had to build my base mileage up so I could begin the 16 week plan, so really this has been about a 20 week process.  I met the plan with enthusiasm and was successful getting in my runs.  One blip was hip pain that came with the increased weekly mileage.  But I was vigilant and sought care from an ortho, just to make sure there wasn't anything serious going on and then I started with PT, having Graston work on my IT bands and deep muscle massage and on my TFL (a muscle in the hip).  It worked after only a few short sessions my body became more flexible and my hip pain subsided.

VT 50- 0600 Conditioning Relay Teams! Looking pretty good at 6am!

On Sept 28th I went into the Vermont 50 mile relay with just enough confidence and trepidation that a newbie ultra runner should have.  As I explained in my last post I took a dive on the trail around mile 15.  I finished my 20 mile leg, running on my ankle.  When I got home and explained to my husband what happened I pulled up my pant leg to show him my ankle, even I was in shock at how swollen it was.  It hurt, but honestly I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so I kind of shook it off.

1 day after the fall...this was the beauty on my ankle.

My longest run of my training was slated for Oct 4th, 32 miles.  Mentally I had been looking forward to this run for a month.  It's that mix of terrified excitement, where you think to yourself...Can I really do this?  It's terrifying to think of it in terms of miles, 32 miles is far, but when you've hit that long run on your training plan, you look back and say "come on race day, I've got this".  For me that day didn't come on Oct 4th.  For the week after the race I didn't run, not at all...I didn't do spinning or the elliptical, I declined going to walks with friends all in hopes of healing faster.  I laid low.  I spent a lot of time with a bag of frozen peas, watched some chick flicks and rested only being on it when "mom duty" called.  I thought maybe, just maybe if I totally give it time off It would be better by Oct 4th.

This was a week later I had my PT tape it and it seemed like it was getting better.

 Well Oct 4th came and went.  I talked with my running coach, and she said the long run could be pushed out to Oct 11th but after that your cutting it too close to race day to recover for a successful 50 mile race.  Oct 11th I could deal with.  I set my sights on that weekend.  Surly it would be better by then right?  Well I hate to say it but here we are two weeks and a half weeks out I'm still NOT, I repeat NOT doing anything and actually it is now re-swollen and the last two days I have had shooting pains up the side of my ankle.  

Not being active is horrible.  Mentally running is my drug of choice (hahaha!)  It keeps me sane.  Not running has been a test of my mental sanity.  Depression has started to set in.  I thought maybe just maybe I could downgrade to the marathon instead of the 50 miler.  I can see now that, those thoughts are probably wishful thinking.  I had my pity party this weekend.  Reading all the blogs of my beloved running friends who ran Chicago, Hartford CT and those running Columbus this coming weekend.  I had 1 full marathon and a 1/2 marathon planned into my training for this ultra.  I absolutely love races.  The atmosphere has so much positive energy that it's palpable. Race day is what keeps me going through crazy training days. Knowing that the best part is yet to come gets me through.  I was 6 weeks out when I fell.  10 weeks of training lost.  It sucks.  But I have decided to turn my attention to things within my control.  More of that to come.

Have you ever suffered an injury that took you out of your race?  How did you deal with it?  How did you adjust your exercise and what did you focus on? Inquiring minds want to know!

Run Intentionally!

Well I'm sitting here on my Monday morning sipping my perfect cup of coffee and icing my swollen right ankle.  But instead of feeling sorry for myself I'm elated.  Let me explain why.  If you follow my blog then you know I am in the thick of training for a 50 mile trail run in November.  This past weekend I ran my longest trail run ever, 20 miles of a 50 mile relay in the mountains of VT.  To say I was scared was an understatement.  My longest trail run ever has been 6 miles.  Most of my training for this ultra has been on the road or the beloved dreadmill treadmill so 20 miles seemed a little scary.  Not to mention I was the third runner of our group of three and each runner who came in after their leg said "OMG did you see this hill..and that hill?"  All those comments just fueled the anxiety and fear that was rolling around in my head. It's interesting if you look at it how the mind plays tricks on you, fuels that anxiety ridden side and fills you with doubt when you don't even know what's coming.

It was a gorgeous day, even a little too gorgeous for running.  Temps in the 80's and full sun after the morning fog lifted.  I headed out for my portion of the run around 12:28 in the afternoon according to my GPS watch.  The first few miles were a myriad of hills and trail.  The crazy thing about trail running is that there are places you can cruise along and others where you do not have a choice but to take a deep breath hunker down and walk the trail.  Running a large hill is just a waste of precious energy and not something to squander away.  By mile 5 or 6 I started to get into it.  I felt light on my feet like a boxer in the ring.  Bouncing around, on my toes totally alert and focused on the trail ahead.  I didn't look far ahead just at what was right in front of me at that moment.  That next single step.  I surprised myself at how good I felt at the technical aspect of the trail.  What I had feared the most was really nothing more than a huge ball of anxiety that my mind created for me.  So much wasted energy.  Does that happen to you in life?  Do you waste time contemplating and thinking about what is about to come instead of focusing on the here and now?

I made it to the second aid station aprox 12 miles into my run feeling pretty darn good for the hot conditions.  I had two cups of gingerale and refilled my water.  I also took two salt tabs and went on my way.  The view from here was amazing and the pictures didn't really do it justice.  Normally I would not stop to take pictures, let alone a selfie.  But it was too beautiful not to take it all in, plus this was so posed to be a training run, not a race.

hi hot sweaty mess!

So at mile 15 it was back into the woods under the canopy and much needed shade from the sun.  I was feeling re-energized again taking the trail head on, watching my footing feeling confident in my technical ability to own the trail.  I'm not sure exactly where I was mileage wise but in one quick second I was down.  Biting it hard.  My right ankle turned and I slammed down on my left knee.  My hands dug into the dry dirt and I must of yelled out some profanity because the two runners in front of me stopped and the one coming up behind me asked if I needed help.  I gritted my teeth and said  "No no I'm ok, I just need a minute".  I pushed myself off the single track trail and collected myself.  My ankle hurt like hell, but my ego hurt more.  I knew instantly what went wrong, I wasn't paying attention to my run.  I was focused on the girl in the red shirt I had passed earlier, she was coming up on me and I wanted to stay ahead.  I could hear her coming up on me, so instead of looking at the path that was right in front of me I let myself look ahead.  Too far ahead and that was not where my focus needed to be.  What I needed to do was focus on my intentional foot steps right in front of me.  I needed to stay right in that moment but instead I heard the foot falls of the girl in the red and I let my mind wander to the 10 steps that were coming.  I wasn't watching what was right in front of me and boom.  Needless to say the girl in the red shirt passed me and I never caught her again.  

I did get up and shake it off.  My knee hurt and was bleeding, my ankle sore, but I was not going to stop.  I walked more of the last 3-4 miles than I care to admit.  My foot steps after that were very cautious like a kid that has fallen off his bike a few times after taking the training wheels off.  Your cautious to take those next few pedal strokes for fear of falling off again.  Unfortunately I could not get that fluid, light on my feet feeling back.  I was so annoyed at myself.  Have you ever had that happen to you in life where you are not being intentional with your steps and you miss the mark?  Have you ever stumbled and fell only to look back to see that if you had taken the steps properly, focused on the task at hand and not worried about what other people were doing you would have succeeded in your goal?  Well I certainly did yesterday.

Note to self:  

1. don't let anxiety and negativity predetermine your future, you don't know what actually is to come until you get there. 
2. be intentional in what you do.
3. be in the moment and focus on the task at hand 
4. don't worry about what is to come because you cannot change it or make a decision until you get there.  
5. and don't worry about what other people are doing, this isn't about them this is about you and your goals.

I did finish the race, my time for my leg of the relay according to my garmin was 4:14 for 19.8 miles.  that's a 12:51 pace.  Not bad given the hills and the fact I bit it around mile 15, took a bunch of selfies and pictures along the way.  My lovely team members and crew cheered me to the finish line which was, if I must say pretty spectacular!  The best part of my day was when I heard them shout my name from the top of the mountain I lifted my fist to signal I could hear them and picked up my pace.  I almost cried at that very moment.  

I'm a total dork when I'm running just FYI!

Phew!!! That was a lot of inner work that was found on the trail yesterday.  Have you ever had that kind of moment where you knew you didn't do something right because you were so focused on everything else that you forgot to be intentional with that you were doing and the steps you needed to take to accomplish that goal?  Tell me about it.  I can't be the only one who has had this ah ha moment.

Running with Blueberries

So I have come to realize that running is much like blueberry picking. Does that sound crazy?  It probably is but think about this.  We have four big blueberry trees here on our property.  For the past couple weeks I've been going outside every couple of days to pick the new ripened blueberries.  It's really my favorite time of day.  I usually go out in the late afternoon.   It's very quiet.  I can hear the trees in the wind.  Birds flying overhead, sun warm on my face.  I'm not really sure what made me think of it but as I was moving under the bushes to get another look for ripened berries is dawned on me....training for this 50 mile ultra is like blueberry picking.  Have you ever gone blueberry picking and you look at a branch from the top and you don't see a lot of berries.  Maybe you see one or two berries and you pick them off.  If you stopped there your bucket wouldn't be very full would it?

But if you go around to the other side of the bush or you bend down and look up you see ripen berries that you never saw before.  It's all about perspective, taking a second look.  That's really what this whole process of training for this ultra marathon is like for me.  I've had to take a second look at many different aspects of myself.  I've had to bend, reassess and be honest about what I am doing and not doing consistently.  My perspective on the larger goal is shaping and changing.  But instead of the training bending to meet my needs I must bend and form to meet it.  I cannot just look at it head on,  I must wait, be patient and look at the bigger picture.  Much like blueberry picking if you pick a berry too early it will be tart.  But if you wait a day or two it will ripen into a sweet treat.  Training is a delicate balance of working hard and waiting.  Each facet of the plan is important to the next.  Getting in your runs, strength training, eating properly, stretching and rest are all essential to the next part of the plan.

What I have found is that I am not working each part of the plan.  One facet being my nutrition. As a dietitian I eat fairly well. You can see many of my clean eating food posts on IG. But I'm not consistent when it comes to getting my protein after workouts or making sure I'm properly fueled or hydrated. As my mileage is creeping up the demands on my body are that much greater.  I have to really think about eating as part of the training plan.

Another perspective is warming up and stretching. I've never been good at that. I think I'm just so busy sometimes that I don't take the time. But it's not optional anymore.  My muscles need to be warmed up prior to heading out. They need to be stretched and rolled on the foam roller daily.  I need to take care of them, so they take care of me.

I have also had to mentally change my expectations of my physical capabilities. I cannot look at my garmin watch and look at my time.  If I am honest it's crap.  My legs are so tired all the time from running, cross training that I can't keep a fast pace, it's defeating.  I'm actually happy if my over all time comes out in the 10min/mi range.  That's a huge mental change from someone who's always been obsessed with catching the BQ.  But I'm having to bend my expectations.  I have to take a different look to what the ultimate goal is.

So the next time you go blueberry picking. Take a moment to think about how taking a second look at something; whether is training for a race, an issue at work, a relationship.  How can you come at it from a different angle?  What things are you doing or not doing to help the situation?  For me I have to work on my nutrition, taking better care of my body and be kind to myself.  I have to let go of time expectations during my runs, knowing it's part of a larger goal....50 Mile Ultra Nov 8th!

So You Want To Be A Runner?

Well one thing I'm learning very quickly training for this ultra is that you can't just run and think that's good enough.  I have always been someone who cross trains.  Since moving to MA I have tried multiple gyms to try to find the perfect fit for me.  I like doing classes and also being able to use the free weights and workout on my own.  Over the past two years my cross training has been very haphazard. I go to a few classes, do some of my usual weight routine but nothing consistent.  I can totally feel the places where I need more muscle strength to keep up with the demand of this training program.

It's funny because looking back at all my different race experiences the races that I did well were ones that running was on par with my weight training.  So I'm back at it a minimum of two days a week.  If your looking for a place to start or maybe take your weight training to the next level check out Mountain Athlete. My running coach introduced me to this site and it is awesome.  The people at Mountain Athlete know their stuff!  They have training plans to fit different types of goals, ultra running, mountain climbing, skiing.  They provide video demonstrations of all the different exercises so you can make sure your form is correct.

So if you want to be a runner utra runner, then you cannot just run.  You need to strength train to get your body to perform at it's peak.  Do you strength train?  How often?  What keeps you motivated?  I want to hear all about it!

Tuesday Tunes Week 2!

So here we are on to our second installment of Tuesday Tunes!

As I  stated last week I am definitely a runner who runs with music.  I know some of you poo poo that idea but for me it's motivating.  I have been known to skip a run until later because my iPod was not charged.  For me when I hear certain songs it pumps me up.  I'm also a spin instructor so we all know how important music is to those classes.  A bad mix of music can make a 60 minute class painful. 

Like it or hate it music is motivating.  Come on even the most dedicated runner who never runs with music can attest that certain songs can bring out your "beast mode" pretty quickly.


Did you like last weeks selection?  If you missed it you can find the post here.  This weeks song is one that mixes a little techno with an oldie.  It's California Dreaming by Royal Gigolos.  Listen to the whole 30 second preview before you make your decision.  It's such a fun song.  When I play it in spin class people are like what the heck is this but as soon as the beat of the older version gets mixed in and people love it!

Let me know what you think.
Happy Tuesday!


      

Tuesday Tunes!

I am definitely a runner who runs with music.  I have been known to skip a run until later because my iPod was not charged.  For me when I hear certain songs it pumps me up.  I'm also a spin instructor so we all know how important music is to those classes.  A bad mix of music can make a 60 minute class painful.

Like it or hate it music is motivating.  Come on even the most dedicated runner who never runs with music can attest that certain songs can bring out your "beast mode" pretty quickly.

So I thought I would start sharing some of my favorites.  I always am tweaking my play lists and before my races I will make a play list based on the time I want to complete my race in.  I will put a certain song at the 2 hour mark so I can gauge how I'm doing.  Yes I have my garmin or Nike+ watch to look at but sometimes hearing that song at the two hour mark will refocus me on my goal.

So for today I am giving you one of my favorite songs, I Feel So Close To You; by Calvin Harris EP remix.  This has been on my spin class play list as well as my marathon play list.  It has a great beat.  Take a listen you won't be disappointed.



Happy Tuesday!

Am I Crazy?

Does it seem like everyone thinks I'm crazy?  When you tell people you are training for a marathon they look at you and nod appreciatively.  Most people even if they haven't run one can relate in some form or fashion.  When you tell someone that you are training for an ultra marathon you get a blank stare....

Oh what is that, they ask.  So you try to explain that there are many types of ultra races, 32 milers, 50 miles, 100 miles, 50K, 100K, 12 hour 24 hour...the list goes on; but you've chosen a 50 mile ultra race.  Again with the blank stare and maybe an eye roll. The next question I get is....50 miles in one day?  Yes in one day I say.  Again the blank stare, eye brows furrowed, you can see the smoke billowing from there head trying to imagine running 50 miles.  The next question I get is Why?  Honestly that's a hard one to answer because I have many reasons for wanting to take this on.
For starters I like a challenge.  I like to push the limits of what I am capable of.  I know fitness is important for a healthy life but having a goal, big or small keeps me motivated.  I like to have races on the books, it makes me accountable.  Also I really enjoy running long distances.  I relish my long runs.  I do most of my training alone.  I love being with my thoughts, it's where I find some space from the hectic day to day. I can think through things and gain perspective.  It is something that is solely mine which being married and having three children you can lose sight of yourself.  So that's why I run...that's why I'm taking this on. 

So Why am I training for a 50 mile Ultra Marathon...because I can and it brings me joy.  Oh and PS to all of my blank stare friends....I'm not crazy.  Well ok maybe a little :)

It's really happening!

I've got so many things to share I'm not sure which one to tell you all first!  OK first I am officially registered for the Stone Cat 50 Mile Ultra Run- November 8th! Whoot whoot!  It was a lottery for entry so even though I signed up right at 12am when the lottery opened I wasn't sure I had gotten in until it closed 12 days later!

Other great news surrounding my latest challenge is that I have an amazing coach and friend to guide me through this next journey.  Her name is Tara and I will be sharing more about her experience as an accomplished ultra runner in another post.  But all I can say for now is I cannot wait to learn from her and embrace the ultra running community.

Tara & I after a hot 2014 Boston Marathon finish.

As my coach Tara asked me to think about what my goals were for this race.  Goals....humm that's an interesting concept.  It's a great question and one I probably would have over looked in thinking through my plan.  I mean when I run a road race, time is usually the first and foremost goal for me.  A personal best is always in play at most of my races now.  But when going for a 50 mile ultra run the goals must be different.  So I pondered this for a few days and I jotted them down.  This is what I came up with and emailed to her.

OK so I have been thinking about what you asked me, i.e. My goals for this 50 mi trail race.

1. Make it through the training uninjured.

2. Learn how to eat/hydrate properly. Complete the race without being nutritionally depleted. (This one is big for me because I have had many races where I have experienced the repercussions of dehydration.)

3. Finish the race feeling strong both mentally and physically. (I think I have mentioned that I have been having issues with psyching myself out, so I want to feel totally confident in my abilities and not doubt myself or the training process.)

4. Finish under 11 hours.  (I do think this is a lofty goal, but hey a girls gotta dream right?)

Pretty basic I know, but right now I'm not feeling in tip top physical shape.  As for running I feel good.  My base mileage is where it needs to be, but I need to work on some strength training and find a balance.  Unfortunately cross-fit just isn't fitting into my training schedule right now, so I have to look at other options for me.  Hot yoga is very important for my flexibility so I have to get that in at least 1x per week now.  I have an initial plan that I got off of this site.  But Tara has taken all of my requests i.e.  Yoga, Strength Training, need for variety into account and she is mocking up my plan as we speak.   I am very, very, VERY scared to trail run by myself so that is going to be a huge obstacle for me to conquer.  But what is life without challenges?  

This past week was my first full week of training, where I accomplished training runs and required weekly milage.  The first 4 weeks are really about ramping up my mileage again to get a good base.  I was pretty psyched that I rocked my first back to back long runs a 12 mi Saturday and 10 mi Sunday.  ((It is to be noted that I was only so posed to do 8, somehow I had it in my head it was 10 miles and I did 10, oh well).  I felt amazing, way better than I thought.  In fact Sundays run was much more enjoyable than Saturdays who knew!  I guess the object is to keep your expectations low and you won't be disappointed! LOL.  This was last weeks schedule and what I actually did.

Jul 21

Week 3

0        10

4          0

2          0

4     4.58

0

12 12.01

8   10.33

30   36.3

I did more than I needed and I understand that cannot continue.  The 10 on Monday was actually soposed to be done the previous week but I couldn't get it in so it happened Monday, hence the 0 mileage on other days.  On tap this week was this.... I'm off to hit that 14 miler!  I really feel like this is happening! Yippee!

Jul 28

Week 4

0

2     5.58

4          0

6      5.58

0

14

8

34

That little voice...

Isn't it crazy when you embark on a new journey? The endless questions, internal battles, all asking the same questions "what if"....

I have been on this mental roller coaster for about 18 months. Since we moved to Massachusetts in Sept of 2012.  There were so many "what if" scenarios that played out in my husbands and my head before we made our big move. But I'm here to attest that we are still together, happily married (most days😉), we are not destitute, living on the streets....our children didn't crumble from the trauma of leaving their friends or family, we are not friendless or unhappy with our choices.  So right now I look back and think it was all for naught.   Not worth the time and energy.

But yet here I am snarled into another worrying frenzy.  Allowing  myself to be mentally sucked into the contemplating of my decisions.  As soon as that starts self doubt takes over and I'm rethinking everything.

Last night as the hubs and I snuck away for a date night. We talked about our goals for this year. So many were house related, some were career/family driven.  But then we spoke of my next life goal I talked about my 50 mile run. As soon as you tell anyone your planning on attempting that mileage they say "why?"  "Why would anyone want to do that?" Actually I have that answer.  I want to prove to myself that I am capable of something I never thought possible. In 2009 when I secretly started training for my first 1/2 marathon I thought that was the impossible. Yet here I am.... Crossing the finish!

Long Branch NJ May 2009

 I couldn't even run a mile when I made the commitment to myself.  In 2011 I took it to the next level, my first full marathon.  That was hard... I over trained, was injured, I learned a lot. 

Napa Valley CA, March  2011

Have I won 26.2 for me? No not completely. I have run four marathons none up to my expectations.  Many races have been lost "between my ears". Yes you read that correctly.  You know what I'm talking about we have all experienced it at one time or another, that little voice that says "Yes you can!" or "Are you crazy girl, you can't do this?" That little voice haunts me.

That little voice....controlled me my whole skating career.  My mom would say "Why bother going to the meet you already decided you lost or are going to fall."  She was right.  I was and still am my own worst enemy.  Last year I ran the Hartford 1/2 marathon with my husband.  By mile 6 I had I talked myself out of racing and gave up.  My worst half marathon time ever.  I was so disgusted with myself.  It's pathetic that a 43 year old woman can psych herself out, but I'm laying it all out there and it's the truth. 

But change needs to happen...I need to take back my little voice.  So little voice listen up... I'm hear to tell you your days are numbered! I'm running this 50 mile ultra! I RECEIVED MY LOTTERY SPOT! I'm in and I will win this for me.  I will train on the trails, which I am scared of.  I will push through both physically & mentally and I will not allow you to own me any longer.  

New Goals and Letting Go of the Old Ones

The time has come to put it out there....Do you ever notice that if you put something out into the universe by telling someone or writing it down that it becomes more real?  I have felt that way over the past few weeks.  Let me explain...

I think I mentioned I ran the Cape Cod Ragnar race in May.  Just two short weeks after Boston.  I wasn't running on the freshest legs and it was a hard experience.  Hard mentally and physically.  But it was on my 2nd leg at 4am that I had a "Come to Jesus" moment.  I was coming off of running at 7pm, one and half hours sleep and doing it again at 4am.  When I was running there was not a soul on the road,  I was completely alone.  My music was annoying me so I turned it off and just listened to the world waking up around me as I pounded the payment.  My body was cramping, my legs felt like lead, I was practically in tears.  This 6 mile leg felt like 600 miles.  I remember prodding along my legs weary and I thought I don't want to train for another marathon... I don't have it in me...I'm tapped out emotionally.

The Boston Marathon although amazing in some respects, was a total downer for me this year.  In 2013 I was having the race of my life, (you can read more about my full Boston experiences here and here). But in 2013 I was 20 minutes faster than any of my previous marathons, I was on my game the stars were aligned.  2014 the conditions were HOT, the course was so crowded you couldn't race it if you wanted too.  I walked multiple times and I ended with my worst marathon time ever.  Mentally that wrecked me.  Right after Boston I was determined to try to qualify.  After the race my friend Tara said We will find a race and qualify in the fall.  At that point functioning on my runners high I was like YES we will, game on!   After Boston I immediately went home and started researching the best BQ marathons for the fall.  I even registered for one.  But after my runners high subsided from Boston and the mental crap I thought about during my lonely runs at the Cape Cod Ragnar I knew it wasn't for me.  When I was talking to Tara we were sharing our struggles with motivation, goals etc.  I finally got up the courage and told her; "I just don't have it in me to try to train and qualify for Boston is that bad?"   Just to say it out load was huge for me.  Putting it out there was scary because I don't want to seem like a quitter, I didn't want to let her down, but at the same time needed to be true to myself.  Her response was was an emphatic "no it's not".  Ahhhh it was out there.  I had support, I wasn't condemned.  The running Gods didn't strike me down.

Atalanta the accent Greek Goddess of Running

 Finally I let that huge secret roll off my shoulders.  It had been a big weight I was carrying mentally, really since Boston 2013, only realized in 2014.  I told her that my two experiences at Boston were both amazing in their own way, but I'm just not there anymore.  I want this Ultra.  I want to trail run.  I want to push through the mileage and do something that requires more effort than I ever thought possible.  That's where my mind is at, not qualifying for Boston, at least not right now.  So this past week I have been working on my Ultra plan, which I will share as soon as it's been tweaked.  My friend Tara will be my coach since she is an Ultra veteran having two 100 milers under her belt and a few 50 milers to boot!  I do have some road races planned in the fall. A 25K and a 50 mi trail relay in Sept.  I am still planning on a mid Oct marathon but I will not try to BQ, it's more of a training run for my Ultra and then the Ultra in November. Whoot Whoot!

So I've put it out to the universe...my goals have changed and it's ok...More importantly I'm ok with it.  It's the love of the run that I crave.  The thrill of accomplishing something I never thought I could do.  That's what gets me out each day.

So do you have anything you want to do but are afraid to put it out there? Any goals that you need to let go of but are afraid of rejection or seeming like a quitter?  I'm here to tell you don't be afraid the universe is here for you!
xoxo~ deana